Lost In Translation

One thing that many neurodivergents face is being called bossy, mean, rude, stuck-up, rigid, difficult, blunt, and scattered. Many of which I have experienced over the years, along with the usual being asked why I am constantly arguing with people. What I have come to realize is that while neurotypicals tend to think we all speak the same language, neurodivergents are actually bilingual in a sense. Neurodivergence isn’t something everyone is on the spectrum for; it is a difference in the wiring of our brains. We literally experience and interact with the world in fundamentally different ways, and our core methods of communication are different.

Scientists have conducted studies on neurotypical and neurodivergent communication and found that when groups are paired as all autistic or all neurotypical, both groups demonstrate high levels of effective communication. The struggle in communication happens when the group is composed of both autistic and non-autistic individuals, showing that autistics do not have issues with communication; however, the problem occurs in the translation between the two communication styles. While neurotypical communication relies heavily on nonverbal and subtextual cues, autistic communication depends more on specific word choice and structure. For many autistics, such as myself, word choice is crucial because each word has a precise meaning, while subtext in communication is specific to the individual communicating. As someone who struggles to understand why people choose and use the nonverbal communication they do, the ambiguity of subtext adds another challenge to understanding what a neurotypical is trying to say.

Conversely, the lack of subtext by neurodivergents does not mean that neurotypicals don’t receive any subtext. As mentioned before, I have been told I argue a lot with my neurotypical peers when I am just asking for clarification or the understanding of why something should be done a particular way. For me, I need to understand the why of something. I don’t do things blindly or without all the information my brain needs. What I had to be taught, though, is that in neurotypical social structures, questioning a directive is to question someone’s authority. It’s a way to challenge and argue with someone.

Maybe what we all need is to remember to take an extra moment to pause and remember that we are all different and maybe what we think we are saying is not what the other person is hearing.